miriya’s blog

Hello everyone! How are you? I really missed you~

As you can see, I'm back from Korea - actually, I have been for a while. I think I will share my experience in detail, but right now I'm really busy - and i think it's still too close to me. But: I had the greatest time. It was unbelievable. I get very emotional just by thinking about it. And... I'm already planning to go again next summer - if i can manage it somehow.

I didn't see a lot of shinhwa though. I didn't even have a tv most of the time and only saw cfs and shows in supermarkets and restaurants, haha. Of course I bought some of their stuff, but otherwise... I have to admit, I've been very untrue to shinhwa for a month. But my reasons are good, so i guess it's ok: family and friends :)

Ok, but now that I'm in Germany again I really miss shinhwa - so I made another tribute... for my comeback, haha x3
Of course I didn't have time to download anything, so these are just cuts from my old shinhwa-collection. I always try to find scenes I haven't used before, but it's getting more difficult.
Is this tribute too similar to my last one? TT

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless... and sorry for my long "description", haha :)

I've never written in a blog up to this date, but now i've joined this site, I want to do it to try to explain, why I'm all into the k-pop group called "Shinhwa". I don't know if this will be interesting for anyone, but I want to write it nevertheless.

The last time I have been a fan of a group was when I was 12/13 years old, back in ~1996. I was a Backstreet Boys fan, when they debuted in Germany. Me and my best friend collected everything about them, had our room full of xxl-sized posters and sat in my room or her garden and drew pictures of their faces and even sewed nick-carter-dolls. But this only lasted a very short period of time, we just had fun fangirling a bit together.
Since then I've never really liked someone in the entertainment industry. I have just loved the books, music and films, never an actor or singer anymore. This is partly because I'm really distrustfull regarding persons in the entertainment industry. But the more important reason is that, as I grew older, I have often thought that liking/loving a person, you have never met once, is really stupid. I thought that the most fans, especially of boygroups are, like us back then, little girls, or perhaps older girls, who just can't find a boyfriend in real life (I am not referring to the people who call themselves fans "only" because they admire the musicians/actors/etc. skills or their lifestyle). I really had these kind of arrogant thoughts. But people tend to make faults.

So how could it happen, that I changed my mind and am now a "Boygroup"-fan again?

I am born in Germany and have lived here all my life. Nevertheless, I have never been a 100% German, at least other people never saw me as one. This is, because my mother is from southkorea and german people think I look Asian (Asians think I look European though). For me that was kind of difficult, because I was not raised knowing a lot about Korea and I couldn't speak a word korean, too. Although I've never felt "different" or "less german", i have always been the "halfkorean", even for most of my friends. They have often asked why I can't speak the language. I think they never noticed, that these questions were hard for me.

In 1998 i visited Korea for the first time in my life with my mother and my little sister. But although I visited my family there, for me the trip was not different from a vacation, a very exciting vacation to a country that was so different from anything i had seen before. But when we visited Korea a few years later again, the experience differed so much from the first time. My English had improved a lot and I could actually talk to some of my familymembers and I tried to learn a few words korean, too. When we had to leave to Germany after a few weeks, I felt like a part of me was ripped from my heart. Some of my younger cousins cried, when we left, but I couldn't. In Germany i have a very small family, apart from my parents and my sister, there are only my fathers parents and his sister. We don't see them often, because they live in another part of the country.

Since then  I started to be interested in Korea, and tried to learn korean, too, a few times. But as time went by, I lost my motivation, I had a lot of other things to deal with and Korea was so far away. Years passed, i finished school, i started to study at a German University. My mother visited Korea a few more times, but it wasn't possible for my sister and me to go with her.

In 2006 the soccer worldcup took place in Germany. Everything was about soccer then, everyone was excited. Everyone cheered for the German Team. But the strange thing was, that I didn't like that at all, although I like soccer, and have liked the German Team in the past, too. I think the reason was, that in the Wm in Korea/Japan in 2002, the German Team defeated the Korean Team, I think it's possible, that I was really angry about that, without knowing it.
So while all my friends were cheering for Germany, I cheered for Korea. Korea didn't make it very far, but through the WM and my behavior i noticed, that I really really miss Korea and have suppressed that quite a bit.

After the WM, i searched the web randomly, for facts about Korea, looked at pics, listened to a Korean internet radio. On this internet radio i noticed a song I really liked. I wasn't a shinhwa-song, but one of "psy"'s songs. So i searched for psy and found a few clips about him. (In fact, one of these clips was the one, were he danced to michael jacksons music. Minwoo and Junjin are in this clip, too, and I remember that I thought, when I looked at minwoo "Wow, this guy is really good!". But I didn't know about shinhwa then, i just noticed it was them after watching the clip again a few weeks ago.)

When i searched for psy on youtube I stumbled over a clip from the Korean Variety Show "Xman". It was a "dangyunhaji"-clip. I didn't understand a single word, but the reactions of everyone where so hilarious, everyone looked as if they had the time of their lives, laughing so hard. I watched a few more clips, found out, that there are english subbed clips, too, and I'm sure I saw a glimpse of shinhwa, at least a few times.

But the first time I really noticed a shinhwa-member was, when I saw the "Romance Love Mission" cut off the Germany Special. It was Andy, being unbelievably cute acting the girl and being kissed by Eric. Because of Andy I did some research and found out he was a member of the boygroup Shinhwa. I searched for Shinhwa and found their latest video "Once In a Lifetime" - and I really liked the mv, deciding that they were worth some more searching.

This is how it started. Since then I have watched countless clips on youtube and listened to their music a lot.
And it was really good, that I discovered them. The second half of 2006 has been the toughest time of my life till now. I don't want to write about that in details, but my family is going through a lot of problems right now. I have often wondered what I should do, I have often been helpless and at a total loss.
When I was really depressed and afraid, Shinhwa has helped me a lot. When I really needed something to cheer me up, I watched one of their clips, I watched them laugh and play around. Sometimes I just walked around a bit, listening to their music. I discovered more about their different personalities and read about how they have overcome so many difficulties through the years. I noticed how they really love each other, how they truly love and appreciate their fans, and how they always try to give their best, no matter what.

Slowly, i started to introduce Shinhwa to my little sister, too. And i was successfull. I don't think she loves Shinhwa as much as I do, because what Shinhwa means to me, i cannot even describe, but I'm really happy about that nevertheless.

In 2007 i decided to learn Korean and i managed to convince my sister to do that, too. Right now we're having korean lessons once a week and are practicing a lot. And something else really good happened. This summer, from the end of july till the end of august, my sister and me will fly to Korea again. For  2 weeks we will stay at a University and will have a language course, and the rest of the time we will visit our family and travel Korea.
Perhaps it would be to much to say, that this is thanks to shinhwa - but i feel it is. They have encouraged me, they have made me feel more familiar with korea again, too. Does this sound weird? I have just watched them through the internet, and yet they have left a huge impression on me, I feel they have given so much to me.

I know i have been a fan for a really short time, but I know I will never forget them.